27.6.2019

Thursday

Happiness is spending half of the night shopping second hand books from internet.

My friends and family say I have a problem, maybe so. Last night I ordered 13 books online. This week I have bought 20 new books but I’m quite proud because the total for them has been under 100€. Finding cheap books is my specialty.

And I never buy books I don’t need. All the books I buy are either important, something I can’t get from the library or call for me. My books for last night were mainly about Virginia Woolf. Collection of her essays and letters to go with the diaries I have. Do you ever feel like something is meant to be? Like there something you just have to do? I’m feeling like I have to read everything Virginia Woolf has written about her own life.

The morning after my shopping spree felt deadly. Couldn’t stand up before 4pm. Then went to shower but the floor flooded. Ate old chicken not even warming it up. That kind of day.

But my travel card ends tomorrow and I got email from bookstore to use my bonus credits for them before Sunday. Didn’t even know I had bonuses unused. In fact, it probably made my whole day when the clerk in the shop told me that I had 10€ to use. Got poetry book and book of a woman who travels around Europe to research secret lover of Finnish artist from the last century.

Lately people who travel following trails of historic people have woken my interest. Maybe I want to be one of them? Who knows… I’m still at that stage of my life where I’m not sure what to do. Feels so clear that writing is my thing but I’m interested in everything. Fiction, non-fiction, plays, everything. Everything. I want to write everything.

Today I got new inspiration for a story that I started to write. Group of university friends from different majors coming together. However, one of them falls for another. Unrequited love. “Laughing, joking around and always being there for each other. A perfect tale of friendship. Until one of them falls and feelings get hurt.” I don’t yet know how this story would end.

Do they end together or do they find love somewhere else? But happiness, there has to be happiness in the end.

On my trip to the bookstore I ended up to one of those odd shops almost like a pharmacy but not quite. Asked help to buy tea that helps you fall asleep. Somehow they also sold me 30€ night cream. My stupid anxious self couldn’t say now. This is why I can’t go anywhere…

Peace out!

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