It’s 9 PM and I’m drinking some flowery tea while writing this. I made a promise to write 2 hours every day in July (1 hour in English and 1 hour in Finnish). Did that yesterday like my overly emotional diary entry gave away. However, today there hasn’t been enough time.

We went shopping with my mum and sister – with them time flies. Afterward, my sister made a salad while I cooked halloumi and my grandpa made salmon. Oh, how I have missed these simple days when we just spend time as a family. I put on Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse and my sister stayed to watch it too.

The movie wasn’t as great as when I saw it in movies but still, the style is so aesthetically pleasing that it’s hard to explain. The character of Gwen is close to the perfect female hero in my opinion. Chic, badass, snarky, and still vulnerable. Of course, being beautiful is just plus. Can I call a cartoon character beautiful?

I’m a devoted reader but comic books have always been my guilty pleasure. As a teen, I read every Spider-Man comic book from our library. He’s one of those characters I identify as. Mostly because of the “Parker luck”.

If comics aren’t your cup of tea, don’t come at me. I’m ready to fight you about the matter of if comics are important part of literature. Some stories can only be told in visual form.

From comics we can easily transform to today’s second subject. I started a project!

A few weeks ago I bought a stylus pen for iPad online. It came yesterday. Basically, a stylus is just like a normal pen and you can draw or write with it to touch screen. Why I need this pen you may ask? Or maybe not because I haven’t yet shared with you my drawing skills. I can’t even draw a convincing stick figure. So where do I need drawing pen?

  1. I want to plan novels, make idea maps, etc. using my iPad. I hate doing that on paper but it feels stupid just writing things down as a list.
  2. I want to learn how to draw.

I already told you the truth – I can’t draw to save myself. In our family, my sister has always been the artistic one who can draw, paint, sculpt and you name it. I’m the writer of the family. My parents put me to art school for years as a kid and teen but it never took me anywhere.

I want to draw. And I don’t know why.

Maybe it’s because my personality is build around being stubborn and always proving everyone else wrong.

I was the last one to learn reading and writing in my class, now I work as a writer. My English teacher kept laughing at my language skills, now I work as part-time translator. No one believed that this shy book nerd would have the balls to travel all around the world, guess what I did!

It has taken time and effort but my family and friends believe in my writing skills. They know I can do this. My parents even drive me towards studying creative writing instead of starting a business around my freelancing. Everyone roots for me but it doesn’t sit well with my personality. Surprise. Maybe my soul wants to surprise everyone, do something no one would expect. And the best way to make that happen is to do something I’m known to be bad at.

Is that good reason to start drawing?

There’s a second reason – my stories are often visual. Kind of crazy because my mind isn’t, I don’t see thoughts as normal people do. I can’t visualize. But when I plot stories it goes something like this: “You can see his foot first running on a dark alley. No one behind him but the agony in his eyes tell everything. And then there are second feet next to his, running. Girl shouting that they have to find way away. The boy looks at him not knowing what to do.”

Comic book – I love them. If I could draw, it would be a perfect outlet for my creativity. And that’s my second reason. Learning to draw is a change for me to tell stories even more effectively. Can I achieve what I want? Who knows…

There’s no person more stubborn than me and even if it takes years, I will fight for my dreams.

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