Letters to Virginia Woolf #2

Dear Virginia Woolf,

It’s me again. I’m sitting between all my books about you not knowing where to start. Maybe in the order of time? Or from popularity? Where should I start? Your years of finally making it in the writing scene, years before your suicide or the teenage years when writing was just a dream of yours?

Like I told you, I already read your diary entries from 1915-1918. It has taught me a lot but also left many unanswered questions.

Can I really trust you Virginia?

Monday 18th of March in 1918 you speak about Hilton Young. The diary entry mentions that you haven’t spoken since 1908. That day you have a nice conversation with him and leave it at that. It takes some googling before I discover that Hilton Young proposed in 1908. He wanted to get married with you. Virginia, you said no and then didn’t speak with him for 10 years. Or was there a different reason for your fight?

Whatever the reason is, you don’t mention any of this. It makes me wonder. Can I truly trust you? What else are you not telling me?

What happened in 1916? That’s the other thing bugging me. There’s no diary entries, no stories of your first novel getting published. You never mention it. Sometimes you write, sometimes get a good idea but mostly you don’t write about writing. Were you as stuck as me? Did writing feel impossible at times?

This letter has more questions than it should. And you can’t even answer me. Virginia, I don’t know why I’m writing to you or why I’m so interested in you. Tomorrow I will start reading your first diary and letters from that era.

Life is Changing

It was sunny this morning but now the stormy clouds try to take over. I’m lying in the world’s most uncomfortable bean bags on the floor of my dorm’s common room. My roommate has taken over the pile of bean bags a few meters away and we keep both writing in mutual silence. After 5 days feeling like a forever, we have found common ground. Talking now and then, mostly just writing or reading in a friendly silence.

At least, I hope we share this feeling of belonging.

A week ago my life changed for a good. Too many years have gone past from the last time I attended school and now that’s changing. For a week, I have been a student. But not just any student – creative writing student. Isn’t that crazy?

To make this change permanent and even bigger I have decided to make a total u-turn in everything. This blog I started only a month ago (and took a break for health reasons) won’t stay as diary-like before. No worries, it will still be about my life. Just more in an essay way than in I list you everything I did today way.

Have you ever read books by Julia Cameron or Natalia Goldberg? Something like that. Small snippets to my life, what I have learned or read. Describing moments so ordinary but still full of happiness.